do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
