I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
