You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
