3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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