White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
