Where did you get a picture of my penis
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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