im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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