dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
