She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
