I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
