How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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