just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
