i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize