Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
