Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm just crazy horny about you
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
