I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
