I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
