this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
