it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
