You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
