Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
