Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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