I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We need to get me chipped asap
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
