You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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