I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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