I haven't been this sober since birth.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
