Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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