I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
