Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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