today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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