You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize