So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
