Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
