Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I understand Curling. That high.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
