is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dignity is for republicans.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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