Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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