I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
