Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
being pregnant is like rehab
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
