I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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