just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
