he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize