I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
