Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize