How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
