Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
