i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
