and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
