If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Randomize