yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
