just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
