guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
