Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
