Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
