He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
