No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm too high and old for this...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
