Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
