Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
