She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
