I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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