In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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