oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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