I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm like, not good at living.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
