every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
