so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
