Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
